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This is the LB Handbook. It is the law in our section. Read it. Know it. Follow it. That is all.
(The original, written by Matt Detch ('02), has been slightly modified to keep up with the times.)
-The lunch buffet at Pizza Hut is a very good way to spend your lunch break.
-When T.P.ing, is never too much to spend on toilet paper.
-Treat Low Brass members better than you would want to be treated.
-Always remember that the Low Brass are the bass and the base of a band's sound.
-If you are too weenie to drink "The Drink," you can walk back to the field from OCB.
-AJ the Tuba is really a cool guy, only LB members can make fun of him.
-Anyone else can be made fun of, they're fair game.
-Learn to do pushups. The ground doesn't need anymore lovin'.
-People in wheelchairs even though they cannot march, are still really cool people (Can we say TIMMY?).
-You think you're right but you have no idea.
-Freshmen don't know jack, so shut up and deal with it.
-DO NOT HIT ON THE GIRLS IN YOUR SECTION! (not like it's ever happened...) THAT'S LIKE COMMITTING INCEST!
-If an upper classmen says you're off step you are.
-The following words are unacceptable on the field: !@#%^$ Bag, @#$* @!@%er, @#% master, ^%$$#@! Teaser, #@$# licker, fallopian tubes, @#%^ #@$^ing trailer trash, and Francis Howell.
-Christina Aguilera is not hot, get over it.
-The following phrases are to completely be erased from your vocabulary: Arm Circles, Arcage, Happy Friday (Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.), and anything else you can think of.
-Low brass members are better than people from other sections. If you disagree read the "Why low brass is better than..." pages.
-If you do not know your part by Ice Cream Social, then you have the I.Q. of the people at the Old Country Buffet salad bar.
-If you do not know your drill by the end of the season, you have the I.Q. of the aforementioned salad bar.
-If you do not know what in-step means by GSL, you're worthless and better get used to it.
-No one knows the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
-Only sing on the bus if you don't know the words.
-Daler Mehndi is the greatest Indian Pop Star in the history of mankind.
-When setting coordinates, do not yell out "I sunk your battle ship!!!"
-If an LB upperclassman on the field yells out "FLAMINGO!", you'd better pay attention.
-Berets are sexy.
-If Ms. Emry tells the band something, LISTEN! (she can and will lay the smack down).
-TIMMAHHHH
-No matter what people say, replacing the warm-up tape with high quality humor is always good.
-Arm circles are not that bad. Build up some freaking arm strength people...
-If it looks like a tuba is about to run over you, move or it probably will (and not care after he does it.)
-The Low Brass likes big butts and we cannot lie, you other bruthas can't deny when a girl walks in with an iddy biddy waist and that round thing in your face, we get sprung.
-Chris's car will never be as cool as Stutzman's car. That car was highly decorated for the service it provided.
-The Low Brass warm-up tape is, and always will be, better than the guard's.
-The rule of not TPing freshmen has died with the Lowry's house. That was beautiful.
-4 to a room!
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